5 Lessons Parents MUST Teach Their Children
Patience - This is probably the hardest lesson to teach in today's world. It is made especially difficult because it is likely that the parent is lacking patience themselves. We live in an 'instant gratification' society where we can get pretty much anything we want with very little wait. We get irritated if the person we text or call doesn't respond within a few seconds. We order items on the Internet and have them shipped overnight. In this world where waiting is out of style it is good practice to help your children (and yourself) learn to wait. A good way to start, is to make a goal chart with something the child wants at the top. Then create parameters for reaching that goal. For example, a toy that the child has been wanting can be the goal and earning money can be the parameters to achieve the goal.
No Means No - Too often today, I see a parent tell a child 'no' and then give in to the child when they beg, whine or throw a fit. The only lesson this teaches a child is that if they manipulate enough they will get what they want. This makes for spoiled teenagers who have no respect for their teachers and then defiant young adults who don't respect authority, including bosses and police. Children need to learn early that there is a reason behind the 'no' and that 'no means no'. Stand firm when you say 'no' and stick to it, no matter how big a fit your child throws in the grocery store. Respect in the future is far more important than gratification now!
Want vs. Need - This is something a lot of adults don't understand. There is a big difference between what we need, things that keep us alive and safe, and things we want, things that make us happy. Teach your child early that paying tithing, rent or mortgage and bills such as gas and electric come first before toys and fun activities.
Children often do not learn enough about managing finances before they strike out on their own. As a result, many young adults often make critical mistakes, getting into debt with credit cards and not paying their bills before they buy whatever catches their eye at the moment. Think shelter, food and clothing before any other commodity and pay for those items first. Then, if there is money left over, teach the child to save for the future and modestly treat themselves.
Self-Preservation - Teach children to protect themselves. This has a great deal of meaning and many lessons involved. Children need to learn how to protect themselves from bullies, strangers with bad motives, peer pressure, street safety and loads of other dangers. Making your child aware at an early age of the dangers around them (without trying to scare them to death) is the best way to prevent
them from falling prey to these dangers. As age and maturity appropriate, share with your children the bad things that can happen and how to react. As the child gets older increase their knowledge of the items you have already shared. For example, when my daughter was three years old I taught her that her body belonged to her and no one should touch her body in a way that makes her feel bad. When she was four years old I added on to that by explaining that there are private areas of the body that are covered by our bathing suits that we do not show to anyone and that no one is allowed to touch. When she was five years old I taught her the proper names for those areas and began to explain that boys have private areas also, that are different from girls. Knowledge is power, the more a child knows about the dangers the more ready they will be to handle them when they arise. Teach children about drugs, alcohol, cigarettes, sex, etc. before they learn it from their peers.
Self-Worth - This is the most important lesson of all. If children do not have a sense of self-worth they will not be able to learn the other lessons. Children must know that no matter what they do, God and their family will always love them. From an early age, when I would get upset with my daughter for something she had done she would ask if I still loved her. Young children often believe that when they do something wrong they are no longer lovable. Even when punishing a child, make sure they understand that you still love them and that what they did was bad, not that they are bad. There is an important distinction between those two things that can shape the child's entire future. Children are not bad, they sometimes make bad choices. A child that is confident in their own worth and knows that God and their parents will always love them will be better equipped to handle the difficulties that come up when self-preservation is necessary. They will be more likely to want to preserve themselves if they believe they are worthy of preservation.
